THE THONG. This is what most of them feel like.
A wedge up the ARS, is fine. We ladies can live with that. But up the TACO? No thanks.
Can't anyone make a thong that has coverage in all the right places? Yes, yes, I know...Hanky Panky...but at 18 bucks a pop? For something that DOESN'T suck in, smooth, shape or lipo my trunk? At Body Gap today, I actually had this conversation with the sales lady. We actually compared the "floss" part of the thongs on all of the styles...all skinny, all wedgeful, all the way through the va jay jay (homage to Grey's Anatomy).

If I wanted that kind of pain, I'd just cover up with a piece of floss.

Out. Wow. Panty Rant. Now I've hit a new low.

WHY can't a girl get a piece of FRICKIN' candy corn a few days after Halloween?
Yes, I have an obsession. I was denied candy corn this year. And now I want some. No, scratch that. I want the candy pumpkins--known to OCD types like me everywhere as the Mellocreme Pumpkins.
I've searched 3 Rite-Aids and 4 Duane Reades, only to be shut out. The only thing they have are 1/2 off shelves of dusty witches, stale M&M peanuts and fugly baskets. Then I checked many bodegas. SURELY, on a dusty shelf somewhere, I can find a lone bag of candy corn, that's been left behind. Nope. Gone. All gone.

Now I'm left with only one option. Amazon.com. Yes, delivery. Of a bag of candy pumpkins that could be from the dreggs of candy society, the ANTI-Willy Wonka, the candy that didn't sell, the leftover bins of a warehouse left empty, but one box of candy corn. Stale? Perhaps. Dusty? Maybe. But that bag will be all mine.

I need serious help. Wait until you hear about the Bloomingdales Jean Scam.

Funny.

From the journal of photographer Andy Batt…
"Small beads of sweat, that knot in the gut, and occasional flashes of impending doom-photographer Andy Batt faced his most challenging assignment yet: a bus full of 3rd graders. Outnumbered and surrounded, he struggled valiantly with promises of cover shot fame. The 3rd graders, smelling weakness, went in for the kill. He woke up alone, lying on the ground covered in miniature footprints with camera in hand, and the cover shot glowing on the small screen. 'Andy' he said to himself, 'you may have lost the battle, but you've won the war.'"

Andy Batt is a Portland based nationally published photographer who loves what he does and loves where he lives. His work can be viewed at, andybatt.com

More amazing Burning Man pictures. Probably too many here. But be patient. This is a great display of the art installations, the art cars and the costumes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/loupiote/sets/432859/show/

One more, among many, amazing moments at Burning Man.

My husband. Super Burning Man! For more pics see Nikki's Flickr Site. Our pics coming soon...

Burning Man. Two hours north of Reno, NV 2007
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nikkinikita/sets/72157601903909440

A sign?
Almost every morning while I sit in silence, reading my NY Times, eating my cereal, I hear this from below my window,
"Waaaahhhh, waaaahhhhh, waaaahhhh, Moooommmmmmyyyyyyyyy!"

Why is it that this boy's meltdown/tantrum is perfectly linked with my 10 minutes in the morning that I have, to chill, relax and enjoy the quiet in the house.

Is he strategically placed there as birth control?

Is there just something about our corner, that finally the Mom or Nanny decides to stop for a while, and try and reason with this child. While I read about Frank Rich's latest angry but brilliant tirade on the Bush Administration. (heads up: Read his son's new collection called, Ant Farm. That apple didn't fall far.)

Or is his schedule really that well timed with mine, just out of chance.

Let's hope the latter.

Dave Letterman:

"Good news--Osama Bin Laden's son, Omar, just got married. If you want to send the couple a wedding gift, they have all the pipe bombs they need. What they'd really could use, is a fondue set."

Surreal moment:
A dream feels so real, that when I wake up I’m depressed. For 3 ½ minutes.

It went something like this:

For some reason, the lead to Wilco, Jeff Tweedy and I are hiding under a bed from someone. No idea why. I literally feel like I’ve been dropped into the middle of a movie. Through strange dream time lapse, Jeff Tweedy and I end up falling in love. While hiding under the bed? Why not.

Side note: Jeff Tweedy. Have I ever had a crush on him in real life? Never. He’s one of those guys who’s oddly attractive, but only on stage crooning that voice. Yes, a soulful sad voice. End, side note.

So, we hang out, do in love things. Nope not a sex dream, just in love things. Well, maybe there was some dry humping, but dreams vanish, and it’s always tough to tell if I’m rewriting the dream in that small compartment called Memory Retrieval. Then I tell Jeff that I’m going to take a shower. When I’m done, I realize that the shower is in a van. (It’s a dream, people.) And the van is in neutral and has been driving itself around highways, Knight Rider style. But, not in a “I’m Kit, I have things under control Michael” sort of way. It’s amazing that I have survived while showering in my van. Because I almost hit many cars, people and birds.

And then I wake up. Never to see Jeff Tweedy again. I keep my eyes closed. Maybe I can take over the van and drive back to him. Maybe he’ll wait. Maybe I can tour with him.

That never works. I’m awake. I’m home. I have to go to work. How depressing.

And then I realize I’m already married to a rock star, and with a much cooler name.

Open Space Retraction

Open Space at Work:

1. Forces you to be social, come out of your shell, talk to people you would never encounter.

2. Catches you up on current events that you were trying to avoid, but then realize you can’t because we are cultural sponges and need always to KNOW.

3. Makes you realize that you are not a robot at a computer in a box inside a bigger box.

4. Forces you out of the hole when sometimes you want to hide.

5. Makes you realize you are a coward for ever wanting to hide. Thus, makes you stronger, speak up more, and have the mental balls to ask for what you need.

6. Makes you give into your human need to be nosy.

7. Makes the human need to be nosy, a human right.

8. Inspires you to start new conversations. With the mailman. With anyone you wouldn't.

9. Forces you to invest in much better headphones.

10. Get the dirt. Get the gossip. Get the goods.*

11. Makes people work more together, instead of isolated in a hole. *

12. Let’s the sunshine in and not contained inside a cement wall. Walls never appreciate sun like people inside offices.

13. Actually SEE the work be created that’s coming out of the agency

14. Forces the inner uber productive robot inside that obsessively needs things to get done, to just, relax.

* Thank you Daniela
* Thank you Tom